Did Not Get Engaged

One of the big holiday traditions that has emerged in recent years has been the fact that people announce their engagements usually on Christmas by way of Facebook. In fact, nowadays you can carry out whole relationships via Facebook or any other social media platforms to the point where it has become commonplace.

This year, I might have had at least three online friends (and quite possibly more) announce their engagements online over the holidays. However, I am happy to report that I was not one of them. In fact, I stumbled across a meme that became popular and had been widely distributed and it was a text image designed to look like a Facebook status that says “Did not get engaged.” And of course, the date underneath was December 25 and below that, there is a little caption that says “See nonexistent relationship here.” I thought it was a good meme that I decided to not only share it online but also download it and use it for the purpose of this post. And there’s a good bet that I will be posting it again next Christmas.

Prior to becoming part of the Internet, I had not had any luck with women and it carried on even after I joined the online community. I have met quite a bit of people online in the ten years I have been on the Internet. Out of the numerous people I met online, I only met a handful of people offline. A couple of them even sent me Christmas cards. However, nothing really happened as far as anything long-term goes. The last time I was actually interested in a woman was back in 2011 and as you can guess, that didn’t go anywhere.

And now that I’m inching closer to 40, I am starting to think back on how I was back in high school and my twenties and that while high school and 20-something me would not be thrilled with the prospect of not getting married and having a family, soon-to-be 39-year-old me says that it’s for the best. After all, things have gotten bad in the dating scene with people relying on Tinder and it’s quite obvious that they’re not looking for long-term relationships not to mention that the pickin’s are very slim and a very high divorce rate. It’s all a game where the only way to win is not to play. For the most part, I’ve opted out. And trust me, I’m not really losing sleep over it anymore.

So in short, all I gotta say as far as whether or not you’ll see my Facebook status say “Got engaged” next Christmas is “Don’t hold your breath.”

You Just Entered The Friend Zone!

Yes, a moment of silence indeed.

You are about to enter a dimension that no man should dare enter especially if he is trying to get into a relationship with a woman or more importantly get laid. This is the dreaded place that is known throughout both the online world as well as the real world as a place that says “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.” And guys if this has happened to you, you should know by now that there is no escape… from the Friend Zone!

For starters I have been researching today’s dating culture in my spare time for the last few years and what I have learned awakened me primarily because I am no stranger to this phenomenon. I have been friend-zoned all throughout high school and junior high not to mention my twenties and this was back in a time before the term “friend zone” even existed. The last time this happened to me was four years ago and after that and after I started learning about the dating scene and how it is rigged against men, I swore to myself in the words of Sean Connery when asked if he would ever play James Bond again: “Never again.”

So what is the Friend Zone? Well, in the dating culture (or as I should really say “the hookup culture” because everything is all about sex these days), the Friend Zone is a woman’s first line of defense against men who they feel are below what they’re looking for in terms of looks and status. Unfortunately a majority of men in America fall under this category.

This tactic is more commonly used when a woman is in her teenage years right on up until her early-thirties when her status is highest and she is at the peak of her physical attractiveness where she usually seeks out nothing but the highest-quality man in terms of both looks and status. This is also the period where women focus on having as much “fun” as possible with the bad boys and rich men with options while at the same time giving the lower-quality man hope (or more likely a false sense of hope) that he will one day have a relationship with her but for now is merely there to offer moral support, a shoulder for her to cry on whenever something bad happens with her boyfriend/husband and to buy her things, such as drinks at the bar and that expensive necklace she wanted at the jewelry store that her boyfriend/husband will not buy her.

The Friend Zone tactic used by women is so effective that many men who wind up in a woman’s Friend Zone are either forced to settle for lower quality women, relocate to another country to look for foreign women to date and marry if they can afford to travel or they end up dropping out of the dating scene altogether to focus on building their careers and their wealth (remember a majority of American Women are attracted to money above all else no matter how much they try to deny it.)

Many times the majority of men are forced to wait until their mid to late thirties to get laid, assuming they get laid at all. Others just simply opt out of the dating scene altogether because they know the game is rigged against them and end up with some degree of hidden resentment toward women. And when it comes to these men’s attitude towards the dating game, they realize that the only way to win the dating game is not to play at all.

And I am aware that men do this to women that are not attractive to them but for the purposes of this article we are just focusing on when women do this to men since that is the most common form of the Friend Zone practice.

So what prompted me to do this piece on the Friend Zone? Well not too long ago, I found a status update on my Facebook feed from my local radio station 97.9 KISS-FM in Utica, New York which had to do with a woman who friend-zoned a guy and suddenly decided she had feelings for him just as she found out that he was about to get involved with another girl. The status went something like this: “Saw a tweet yesterday: ‘A guy in the friend zone almost got a girlfriend today so I told him I like him so he wouldn’t. I don’t… but I need him just in case. He’s my backup plan.’ This is from a girl in her late-twenties, too old to be playing these games. Have you ever had or do you have a backup plan? I just don’t get why people in this day and age continue to string people along.”

Yep. Sounds about right.

Here’s my spin on this: First up, if the girl actually straight up liked him, she would not have friend-zoned him in the first place so she could focus on hooking up with the bad boys. But sadly that is what society and the media teaches them to do. I think what happened here was a simple case of a guy seeing a girl he could have a relationship with therefore finding a way out of the other girl’s Friend Zone and the girl who imprisoned him in the Friend Zone could not handle the fact that the guy found someone he can possibly do better with so she decides to come between him and this other girl by making up that line about how she liked him so that he could not pursue the other girl.

Make sense? If not, that’s okay. Neither does anything else in today’s dating society.

In some ways, the Friend Zone concept harkens back to the review I did of the 80’s teen sex comedy The Last American Virgin earlier in the year. In that movie, Gary was trying to get with Karen but kept blowing his chances at every turn. Besides it was obvious that she would rather hook up with Gary’s bad boy best friend Rick thus putting Gary in the Friend Zone. And to further add to his torment, Karen attempted to pair Gary up with her geeky and weird-looking best friend who genuinely liked him. Even when it looked like Gary was finally going to end up with Karen after he helped her get an abortion after Rick knocked her up, the movie threw us a curve and Karen ended up taking the bad boy boyfriend back thereby forcing Gary back into the Friend Zone and he goes home crying, hence probably the most realistic ending in the history of movies. Plus I still stand by what I said in the review about how I believe that The Last American Virgin predicted today’s dating culture, even though the classic symbol of a man in the Friend Zone remains the character of Duckie from Pretty in Pink which I have not seen.

And I’m just going to say for the record I think that line “He’s my backup plan” is kind of disturbing.

Well to answer KISS-FM’s question, have I ever used a girl as a “backup plan?” No, I have not. In fact personally I have never had the chance to break a woman’s heart. However, I know of a girl on Facebook who attempted to get with me while she was still in a relationship with another guy, which I guess qualifies as her trying to make me her “backup plan.” I did not go through with that primarily because that girl was drama-central, not to mention she had kids. Then after her boyfriend cheated on her, she tried to get with me again. I refused and she ended up taking her ex back.

So in conclusion, what do I think about the concept of the Friend Zone? It’s real, folks and it’s not spectacular. Sorry. Seinfeld joke, couldn’t resist. I’m sure many of you guys are reading this article know what I’m talking about and I’m sure a lot of you have been there. I know I have and if I knew then what I know now, I probably would have saved myself a whole lot of grief in high school and everything else beyond that.

And this is coming from a guy who as The Who’s theme song from CSI: Miami says, “won’t get fooled again.”

I also did a video version of this blog: https://blackcatloner.com/2015/07/30/you-just-entered-the-friend-zone-vlog/

Back to School

Well, I figure I’d take a little time out of my orientation to blog about me starting a new chapter in my life: Going back to school.

As of today, I have officially begun my orientation as a student at Herkimer County Community College where I will be majoring in Radio and TV Broadcasting and so far it is going pretty good. Although it means that I may be focusing on school work more than my regular activities here on the web (I’ll still be doing Facebook and Twitter at work and at home via my mobile web), I think that it’s finally time for me to move on and I think that college may very well be what I need to help myself become an even bigger success on the web.

As of June, I am out of action indefinitely as far as making YouTube videos goes, primarily because I need new equipment that I can’t really afford right now. I was also trying to remedy some other matters closer to home as well which had been my goal all summer. And now here I am, a college student. Hey, it only took me fourteen years to come to the decision that I actually need college to succeed rather than my wits which I have been going by for years.

I know the road ahead will not be easy. Then again nothing in my life ever has been easy. I am only going part-time because of my job, so there’s the possibility that I might be going at least three years. But I have always met every challenge head on no matter how ill-equipped I was or how bad the situation was and I will get through this one.

Whatever happens, I will be ready, I will meet and I will rise up to the challenge as I always do. And I will give everyone reason to be proud of your friendly neighborhood Blackcatloner.

Q & A: Humanity Ends in 10 Years!

Here is the latest Q & A vlog featuring yet more questions from my Formspring account and my Myyearbook.com. Anyway, let’s get started.

Q: What’s the story behind your Formspring username, which is as always, Blackcatloner?

A: It’s the same name I have used on all my Internet accounts since I created my email address in 2005. “Blackcatloner” is defined as “One lone cat against a big bad world,” but it’s basically the definition of my life to date.

Q: What was your first paying job?

A: A cashier at Grand Union in Rhinebeck, NY. I worked there from September 1997 until March 2001 when it became Stop and Shop (same building as GU) where I worked from March 2001 until I moved to Central New York in September 2002.

Q: What accomplishment are you most proud of?

A: All my accomplishments online (blogging, YouTube, etc.)

Q: What’s the worst show on TV?

A: Teen Mom.

Q: Would you rather be the best player on a losing team or the worst player on a winning team?

A: Worst player on a winning team.

Q: What three things do you think will become obsolete in the next ten years?

A: Marriage, television, and not sure what else, although a co-worker I added on Facebook suggested that humanity as we know it will become extinct in ten years. I can see where that’s going.

Q: Would you rather swim in a pool or the ocean?

A: The ocean.

Q: Cats or dogs?

A: Cats.

Q: What historical time period would you most like to visit?

A: The future.

Q: If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

A: Now that you mention it, I have been considering legally changing my name to Blackcatloner.

Q: Where’s your favorite place to buy clothes?

A: Yard sales and rummage sales at churches, which is actually the only time anyone should go to church.

Q: Would you rather be really hot or really cold?

A: Really hot because as I always say: “Hot weather brings out hot chicks.”

Q: What do you think about formspring.me so far?

A: I think it’s really awesome, especially since it gives me material for my Q & A videos on YouTube.

Q: What movie can you watch again and again and never get sick of it?

A: Taxi Driver. I could watch that DVD over and over and over and over again. It’s a really good movie and it only gets a bad rap because of that Hinckley douchebag who tried to kill then-President Reagan so he could score with Jodie Foster.

Q: What’s your earliest memory?

A: Seeing Empire Strikes Back (the original version) when I was 2 years old.

Q: What TV show do you wish would go off the air for good?

A: Barney. Apparently they still haven’t killed that purple dinosaur yet.

Q: Who and when was your first kiss?

A: No comment.

Q: Who’s the funniest person you know?

A: My friend JJ aka jjthefunnyguy.

Q: Do you believe in fate?

A: Sometimes.

Q: What celebrity would play you in a movie about your life?

A: Noone plays Blackcatloner but me, got it?

Q: What’s the best way to relax after a long day?

A: Hang out online.

And now on to the Myyearbook questions:

Q: What’s the best place to pick up someone?

A: The Internet.

Q: Are you glad Bin Laden is dead?

A: Hell, yeah!

Q: Whopper or Big Mac?

A: I like both of them. I haven’t really had a Whopper in eons because they’ve gotten pretty expensive, but Big Macs are pretty good, especially without cheese. I am not a fan of American or cheddar cheese. I am more of a fan of Italian cheeses instead.

Q: Are you on Facebook?

A: Is water wet? lol. facebook.com/blackcatloner

Q: Should you believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?

A: Well, if he/she admits it, then yeah.

Q: Is New York boring to you?

A: It can be. After all, I’ve lived in New York State all my life. And it doesn’t look like I’m leaving anytime soon.

Q & A: Justin Beiber Dumped By Katy Perry at the Jersey Shore

Okay, everyone, I am back with my latest Q & A. However, all the questions I got asked this week were from Formspring.me because I didn’t really get asked anything on Myyearbook. So without further ado, let’s get started.

Q: Who’s the most overrated musician?

A: Definitely Justin Beiber.

Q: What’s your favorite type of flower?

A: Red rose.

Q: What was your favorite thing to do during recess at school?

A: Play outside.

Q: What do you fear?

A: Failure and rejection.

Q: What’s your favorite Marvel superhero?

A: Spider-Man, of course.

Q: Staring at women’s breasts can make you live longer!

A: Now this may not be a question, but I’ll respond anyway by saying, “SWEET!”

Q: Eminem is life! Don’t you agree?

A: Hell, yeah! Slim Shady FTW!

Q: Have you dated someone you met online?

A: Interestingly enough, I have met only two women in person that I initially met online. It didn’t work out with either one, but I still have them as friends.

Q: Would you ever move away from YouTube to another vlogging site such as LetsVlog?

A: I was planning to do some videos on LetsVlog when I signed up for it last year, but I never got around to it. I also tried BlogTV but that didn’t work. I have blip.tv where I upload The Adventures of Blackcatloner videos every Friday but other than that, I would have to say I’m gonna be sticking with YouTube for the time being.

Q: What do you think of Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” and “One of the Boys” albums? Which one did you like better?

A: “One of the Boys” was good, but “Teenage Dream” is even better, especially since I can’t get the title song out of my head.

Q: What hobbies do you have? Are you a gamer, a comic book nerd or a movie buff?

A: I’m gonna answer this in two parts. 1) I write, work out (although I have been slacking in that area because I work overnights but should get back into it again), and of course all my online activities (blogging, YouTube, social networking, etc.) 2) I’m not a gamer (mostly because I can’t afford it) but I collected comic books in high school and I am in fact a movie buff. In fact, last weekend, I saw the latest “Fast and the Furious” film, “Fast Five.” It was awesome.

Q: What are your thoughts on chivalry? Is it dead?

A: Unfortunately yes.

Q: Have you abandoned MySpace like almost everyone else has or do you still keep your MySpace page running out of sympathy?

A: I still have my Myspace (all three of them) up, but I’m not on there anymore. Thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. Facebook and Twitter FTW!

Q: Were you ever a teacher’s pet?

A: Not really.

Q: Did you ever have a teacher who picked on you?

A: I’ve had a couple.

Q: Adamantium is supposed to be unbreakable and can’t be destroyed. Therefore, could Superman break Wolverine’s skeleton? Or could Wolverine’s claws pierce Superman’s skin?

A: Probably one question that will never be answered, even by the most experienced comic book aficionado.

Q: Does the Dark Side really have cookies?

A: Yeah. Chocolate chip ones.

Q: What sort of cell phone do you have? If you don’t have one, which one would you like to have? What are the requirements that a phone must have for you to want to have it?

A: I have a Verizon Prepaid phone which I’ve had for just over a month and it is really awesome. I am able to hang out online (specifically Facebook and Twitter) whereever I am and it is also a camera phone. 🙂

Q: If you could drink only one thing for a year and it couldn’t be water, what would you drink?

A: Pepsi.

Q: Where’d you find out about formspring.me?

A: My YouTube peeps.

Q: Who’s the sexiest woman alive?

A: Definitely not an easy question…

Q: Would you rather be a famous musician or a famous actor?

A: Famous actor. Can’t sing to save my life.

Q: Would you rather get up early or sleep late?

A: Sleep late.

Q: What was the last book you read?

A: “A Shore Thing” by Snooki. Yes, I’m a Jersey Shore fan. Deal with it. Plus a little tidbit: I come from the same area of NY (Hudson Valley/Poughkeepsie area) as Snooki.

Q: What’s the most unselfish thing you’ve ever done?

A:  Well, last week I gave a dollar to a diabetic woman for a soda because she looked like she was about to have a stroke.

Q: What would your dream vacation be?

A: A return trip to Puerto Rico.

Q:What’s the oldest piece of clothing you still own and wear?

A: My Terminator shades from high school.

Q: Who’s your favorite character on The Office?

A: Michael Scott. Good luck, Steve Carell. 🙂

Q: Do you believe there’s intelligent life on other planets?

A: I’m sure there is.

Q: What’s the furthest place you’ve ever traveled to?

A: Puerto Rico.

Q: If you could date any celebrity, who would it be?

A: I have to pick one? That’s a hard one. lol

Q: If you could have the starring role in one movie what would it be?

A: An action movie.

And the last question comes from a question-asking Facebook app, friend.ly:

Q: If you opened a restaurant, what would your house specialty be?

A: Anything Italian, mainly because I love Italian food.

And there you have it. The latest Q & A is now officially in the books. Remember, if you want to ask me anything and don’t have a Formspring account, you can ask in the comment section either here on the blog or on the YouTube video page. Remember, no offensive comments will be accepted.